Confessions of a Newlywed
This past weekend (February 15, 2020), I publicly took the step to say I do in front of friends and family. My wedding was nothing short of beautiful. Almost everything I envisioned came to fruition. The weather was perfect, and everyone that was supposed to be there was there. It was my dream wedding!
But there is a secret that my husband and I have been holding in.
We were already married! We eloped a year ago (February 15, 2019). So this past weekend was our first wedding anniversary!
1. Newlywed Privacy
We wanted to navigate through our first year with little to no outside interference. Growing up, we’d always hear about what to do and not do, and what to expect and not expect. Usually, advice like this is welcoming, but after being engaged for only for not even close to 2 months, we did not want to hear anyone’s opinion on what they thought would be best for us. We guarded our relationship.
2. Absolute Surety
I’ve always believed that once you know, you know. It was so much easier to make decisions when we didn’t have to deal with other people’s influence. We were friends for two months, dated exclusively for a year, and we knew what we wanted to do. Initially, I doubted that a marriage could work without us being together for at least three years, but everything changed for me when I found out that my in-laws got married to each other after only knowing each other for three months. This year they will be married 31 years. The biggest secret to their success – keep people out of your relationship and control the narrative. Only let people know what you want them to know.
3. Learning From Our Mistakes
Neither one of us has spotless pasts. We were previously in relationships, giving our all, celebrating milestones, dealing with rejection and frustrations, then things went left. We believe that to get better results, we have to do things differently. The main thing that I promised myself was that I would never give another man the benefits of a husband with that level of commitment. It was not easy getting my husband on that page, but he saw my worth, and together we made it happen.
So cheers to us for navigating through our first year of marriage. The 8 Things My Parents’ Marriage Taught Me certainly helped us put a lot of things in perspective. We learned how to handle our issues with little or no interference from the outside. It has given us the tools to construct a strong foundation, and we intend to build on that. You’ll soon be able to read more about this journey in my book, How I Got the Ring: My Spiritual and Emotional Journey into Marriage, coming soon.