Church Hurt is Real

A few weeks ago it was the trend to see memes flooding our timelines with the hashtag #churchhurt, and while some of these memes were absolutely hilarious, the reality is that church hurt is real.

I can attest that have dealt my fair share of hurt, many times unknowingly, and for that, I have to apologize.

On the other hand, I’ve experienced it and it affected me for years. In fact, I went through several experiences that forced me to take a step back from church altogether.

This is one of my #churchhurt experiences.

Back in 2009, I was heavily involved in church; praise dancing, chorale singing, choir, just to name a few. I was always at church for Monday night Youth Prayer Meeting, Wednesday night Bible Study and Friday night Youth Service and Choir Practice. Being in church was always a struggle, having to deal with cliques, favoritism, and political drama, but I kept pushing. I believed my change was on the horizon, until that fateful night in October.

I got into a physical altercation with my father (more about this in my upcoming book) that left me battered and bruised.

Under normal circumstances, the church should be a safe haven or a hospital for those in need. But instead of running for help, I found myself shying away and coming up with excuses all because of fear.

I was afraid that instead of helping me, the members of the church would create more issues for me, as some of the “trusting” members in high positions were known to gossip instead of helping.

Or whenever they’d help, it would be with the intent to establish trust. You would spill the beans about your personal matters, and off they’d go to spread the new news.

Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time that my personal matters escaped the mouth of a deceptive church official. I didn’t want to go through that again.

I didn’t feel safe at church. I didn’t feel like I could confide in anyone. My family already had dirt circulating in the church and this would make matters worse.

I allowed the hurt I experienced, to keep me away from the presence of God and I just want you to know – it isn’t worth it.

Don’t let anyone, let alone a church (4 walls and a roof), put you in a position to miss out on the many blessings God has in store for you.

I allowed that fear to push me so far away that I could no longer feel God, and the thought of returning was sickening.

I allowed church members (not the church) to keep me out and today I regret it. I was one of the lucky ones who was able to snap out of it and make my way back to God (not that church).

Guys, God isn’t confined to the 4 walls of the building where you worship, and He didn’t design us to tolerate church hurt.

Don’t continue exposing yourself to hurt. Pray about it and ask God to lead you in the right direction, and if that means it’s time to find a new place of worship, then so be it.

#churchhurt is real, but you don’t have to endure it.

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